Meeting Tessa Gray
by mundane-pansycakes
Summary: When Tessa is introduced to the New York Shadowhunters of our time, what will they uncover about her? And more importantly, what has happened since her life at the Institute?
1. Introductions

"I'm telling you, he's home," Alec repeats for the fourth time to an unconvinced Jace. They stand outside of Magnus's door, impatiently waiting for him to answer. Jace's hand is interlocked with Clary's, his dark runes contrasting her pale, freckled skin. Isabelle is off to the side, impatiently twirling her whip around, while Simon admires her with glossy eyes. Luckily, Jace had let Clary off of training today so that they could hang out with the others. They all needed some purely fun time after the last few weeks' events, but Alec had insisted on picking up Magnus along the way.

"Well, he doesn't seem to be home. I mean, Chairman Meow would've answered the door by now!" Jace shakes his head, laughing at his brother. Alec just sneers at him, then turns away, back towards the door. He has a key to the apartment, but doesn't want to intrude. It _is _possible that Magnus isn't home. He had said that he wanted to go shopping for some new glitter polish a few days ago . . .

"Stop arguing, you two," Clary adds, rolling her eyes. "We've been waiting here for a minute, Jace. Be patient," she orders him, laughing.

"Yeah, or I'll whip you!" Isabelle smirks, flinging her golden whip off to the sides, sparks arising from it as it flicks the air. Alec sighs and knocked on the door again, only to have his hand drop forward as the door swings open.

"Alec. What a lovely surprise," Magnus grins, leaning against the door frame. He turns to see the rest of the group, then throws his head back, laughing. "I guess it's nice to see you all, too. Come in, come in." The five of them file into the room, heading towards the large sofas that are now a vibrant blue, keeping up with Magnus's ever-changing color scheme. However, Alec stops in his tracks when he sees a tall, thin girl perched on the sofa. She's dressed in a long, Victorian style gown, although it doesn't seem out of time. It fits her. Her soft, brown hair is twisted into a perfect bun, scattered ringlets framing her face. She seems to be about the same age as the Shadowhunters, but a certain wiseness seems to vibrate off of her. She turns and smiles at the Shadowhunters as they walk in, then raises her eyebrows at Magnus.

"You must be Alec," she grins, rising from her seat and rushing over to greet the teenagers. Magnus gives her a warning glance, but she continues anyway. "And I presume these are your friends?" When Alec reluctantly nods, she clasps her hands together in delight. "Oh, I am so delighted to meet you all. I have heard such wondrous things about you!" Her gaze settles on Clary and she lets out a little gasp. "Oh, Clarissa. How wonderful it is to see you all grown up. I am acquaintances with your mother and knew you when you were just a small, little thing."

"Oh, you did?" Clary asks, excited by the new piece of information.

"Tessa, please," Magnus says, obviously annoyed with her little introduction. "Alexander, I'm so sorry, but now is not a good time. If you would come ba-"

"No, no!" Tessa interrupts, eyeing the warlock apologetically. "We can discuss this another time. But right now, I would _love_ so very much if I could get to know your friends." There's something strange about the way she talks, Alec realizes, and assumes that she must be a warlock as well, presumably one around Magnus's age. "Please, do sit." Tessa gestures them back over to the couches, where the teenagers sit awkwardly across from her. Magnus gives in and sits next to Alec, who immediately gives him a confused look. He just shrugs and shakes his head.

"So, you are . . . ?" Jace asks wearily, sliding his hands behind his head and leaning back.

"Oh, I'm afraid I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Theresa Gray, but you may call me Tessa. And you are?" she asks, leaning in with anticipation.

"Me? Why _I'm _Jace Herondale," he says confidently, although he still seems unsure of which last name to use.

Tessa's face seems to sink, her lips parting as she furrows her brow. She closes her eyes and sucks in deeply, pressing a hand against the couch to steady herself. "Tessa, I'm so-"

"No, no, it's perfectly alright. What a lovely name that is, Mr. Herondale," she murmurs, her voices filled with nostalgia. Magnus rests a hand on her shoulder, whispering something quietly to her. Alec strains to listen, but cannot make out anything.

"Did I say something?" Jace turns to Clary, obviously taking the blame.

"No, I don't think so. She just kind of blanked out," Clary assures him, looking worriedly at the confusing girl. Tessa turns away from Magnus and smiles again at the group.

"I'm sorry about that. I just . . had a bad feeling all of the sudden," she shakes it off, playing with a golden necklace hanging on her chest. It seems to be made of clockwork, forming an angel of sorts. Below it hangs a jade pendant, shining brilliantly against her pale skin. "You know, I used to live her in New York," she changes the topic, beaming at the group as she wraps herself in the memories. "Before I knew anything about the Shadow World. It was just my brother Nate, my Aunt Harriet, and me. It was quite a lovely time . . "

"What happened?" Simon asks hesitantly after a long pause, obviously curious to find out the rest of her story. "Did you move?"

"Why, yes, yes I did. In fact, I went to London in search of my brother. It's quite a long story, but let's just say my brother did not await me there." Her expression shifts, as if remembering a darker time.

"Tessa was taken by some . . . bad warlocks. They were aware of her power and wanted to use her to their advantage," Magnus fills in, his hand still placed gently on her shoulder.

"What type of power?" Isabelle questions, surveying the girl up and down.

"I can change shape into any person. Well, as long as I have something of theirs. But I didn't know it then. Not until the Dark Sisters took me." The Dark Sisters, Alec concludes, must've been the evil warlocks. He ponders the idea of changing shape, knowing all too well that that type of warlock isn't the usual case. "But then I was saved by an extraordinary man."

Silence hangs in the air as Tessa does not continue. Alec finally puts the pieces together-her stunned look when Jace introduced himself, her strange way of speech, and the way she looks as if she's remembering something painfully wonderful. "William Herondale," he whispers. Tessa's head swoops up and she stares at him in awe, blinking her wide eyes repeatedly, as if trying to see more clearly.

"Yes," she swallows. "Now if you must excuse me, I would like a cup of tea." She stands up from the couch, brushes down her skirts, and heads off towards the kitchen.

"Magnus," Alec whispers. "Is she okay? What happened with her?" For a moment, he has forgotten his anger towards William Herondale, who he assumed was one of Magnus's passed loves. It seems that's not the case.

The warlock tilts his head around to watch Tessa, who is slowly pouring herself a cup of tea, seeming to be caught in some sort of spell. "Tessa . . . is not like most warlocks. She is very different and has lived a troubled life. She was in love with a man by the name of James Carstairs. But he was very sick, and could only give her a short life. William Herondale was in love with her as well, but was unable to show it. To love is to destroy," Magnus explains quietly. Jace, upon hearing the phrase, leans in closer.

"What do you mean?" he inquires.

"William Herondale believed he was cursed. A curse that would kill anyone who loved him. He had to leave his family and keep his distance from the ones he loved. And in the process, he hurt Tessa very badly. And she loved him still, but could not bear to tell James so. He had such a short-"

"I'm sorry!" Tessa says politely, setting her teacup down on the coffee table. "Sometimes I cannot think straight without a good cup of tea." The group just stares at her, wide eyed and full of pity. No one dare speak. They watch her in silence, pondering the short tale Magnus has told them. Alec eyes Tessa mournfully, wondering how horrible it would feel to be in her position. To love someone who could not love you back. Or to love someone who would so shortly die when you were immortal.

"Now, enough about me! Tell me about yourselves. I do love a good story."


	2. Moving On

After Magnus shoos the Shadowhunters and the Daylighter, except for Alec, out of his apartment, he settles back down on the velvet couch across from Tessa, who's holding her teacup delicately. Alec, however, was sent back to the bedroom to wait for Magnus a little while ago. The rest of the conversation was purely small talk, mostly filled with pointless get-to-know-you questions coming from Tessa. However, the whole time, the glossy look in her eyes never seemed to fade.

"Dear Tessa, why must you insist on carrying on a conversation like that?" Magnus asks, laughing, although the sympathy in his voice is clear. He picks up his own cup of tea, which he fetched a while ago, and takes a quick sip, his cat-eyes watching Tessa carefully.

"I do not know, Magnus," she laughs lightly, closely her eyes. "You would think that after over a century I would've gotten over it," she whispers, running her hands under her eyes.

"You never really do," Magnus informs her, knowing from experience.

"But you should, shouldn't you? It is quite unfair for me to be stuck in this eternal place of mourning and sorrow. I will never be able to forget him. I cannot." The girl swiftly stands up, fixing her skirts and brushing away the few tears.

"Tessa, you must understand that it is impossible to. Do you think that I have forgotten about everyone I once loved? No. And I never will. But I've found new love, and you must, too," the warlock encourages, standing up to face her.

"But I _have_ love, Magnus! I have it with James . . . " she drifts off, not wanting to say anything else.

"Yes, you do. But William was a . . . _different_ kind of love. And you need to find that again. Currently the only people you ever talk to are James and myself. You must find new friends and move on," he advises. "You could start by wearing some clothes that match the century."

"I know, I know," she agrees, now pacing the living room back and forth, her gown ruffling as she moves. She never could get out of her lovely dresses, no matter how out of place she looked. They just felt like home to her. "Maybe I could start with your friends? They seem quite lovely . . and that Jace! Oh, how he reminds me of William," she smiles. "But, I must say, your Alec seems to resemble him much more. It seems you have quite a specific taste," she giggles, finally able to find joy on the topic.

"Indeed he does. But what can I say? It's Cecily's fault. She's the one that gave the Lightwoods the black hair. And the blue eyes, I presume, were inherited along the way," Magnus sighs. "That little brat. I never did like her."

"I didn't think she was that bad. She was just deprived of a proper family. That's all," Tessa defends, leaning against the kitchen counter. She never minded Cecily, but rather pitied her and the pain she must've gone through with the loss of both her older sister and William.

"Well, it doesn't matter now . . I really must be getting to the bath, dear Tessa. It's getting quite late. If you would excuse me," Magnus says, obviously exhausted from remembering the events of so many years ago. He quickly slips out of the room and down the hall, towards the master bathroom.

Tessa, since she is staying in town for a few days, had agreed to stay with Magnus for the time being, and strolls down the hall towards her room. However, she stops just in front of Magnus's door, curiosity taking the better of her. She cracks open the door and spots Alec sitting on the bed, twirling his stele over in his hands. He looks up at the sight of Tessa in the doorway and smiles lightly, telling her silently that she can come in.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Alexander," she apologizes, sitting down carefully on the bed across from him. "It just seems as if Magnus does not want me to become acquainted with you and your friends."

Alec shifts uncomfortably, then sighs, "It's not that. At least I don't think so. If I had to guess, I'd say it looks like he's trying to protect you."

"Protect me? Why, I do not believe that Magnus would ever do such for me," she laughs. "We are indeed friends, but I would not say he would go to such lengths. Our history is rather . . . confusing." She twirls a strand of her chocolate brown hair in her fingers, trying not to expose too much about her past. "Besides, what is there to protect me from?"

"I just think he doesn't want to see you get hurt," the Shadowhunter simply replies.

"And why would I get hurt from talking to you?" she encourages, set on discovering what Alec's hidden meaning is.

"Because of Will." Alec shifts his gaze from the bed sheets to her eyes, staring at her with sympathy and pity. His bright blue eyes. _Just like William's, _Tessa couldn't help but think. _Eyes that shine just as brightly as Will's used to. _

_"_Yes," she whispers softly. "I do suppose that is a good reason . . . Good night, Alexander." Tessa stands up, for the hundredth time fixes her dress, and then shuffles out of the room.

* * *

That night, Tessa Gray stands in front of Magnus's floor length mirror in her guest room and stares at herself. Her long mousey hair frames her face, her bright lips prominent against her pale skin. Her eyes, stormy and gray as usual. And her nightgown, still looking as if its from the nineteenth century, hanging loosely against her lean body.

And then she cries.

She cries for the past century that's she's wasted. She cries for the life she could've lived. She cries for Aunt Harriet and Nate. She cries for Henry and Charlotte, Jessamine and Sophie. She cries for the choice Jem made. But most of all, she cries for William Herondale, the boy who gave his life for hers.

**What do you guys think so far? How is Cecily involved with the Lightwoods? And how is Jem still in contact with Tessa? And what exactly happened to Will? **

**I'm going to be using some of the CP2 theories in the upcoming chapters, so if you have any that you want me to include, just let me know! And please review :) I'm new to this, and I would love help and suggestions. **


	3. The First Step

For the first time in her entire existence, Tessa Gray put on a pair of freshly bought, all-American blue jeans. What a strange feeling. Of course, she had worn pants before, usually when she Changed into men, but never before just to wear them. She examined herself carefully in the mirror, staring down at her legs, every curve and dip fully exposed in the tight-fitting bottoms. However, she'd have to get used to them. After all, Magnus-who knows his fashion-had said it was a good first step in moving on.

And so she would wear the jeans.

She slid on a loose, cream blouse (also brand new) and tugged relentlessly at the neckline, trying to raise it to cover her dress. She knew girls of the modern time often exposed some of their breasts, but she still felt embarrassed about her body, and thought it unbecoming to dress like such. It would not stay put, albeit all of her effort, and she let it fall against the top of her chest.

Finally, she pulled her long, brown hair into a simplistic bun, letting a few strands fall out purposefully. She did, weirdly enough, love the fact that the current time did not focus nearly as much on perfectly sculpted hair. A century ago, it would have taken her an hour at least to style her hair, and that's with the help of a maid, like Sophie. For a moment, Tessa wondered about Sophie, remembering her sweet smile, disrupted by the disfiguring scar.

She quickly dismissed the thought.

"Theresa Gray! Come here, my darling!" Magnus called from the hallway, obviously anxious to talk to her.

"Just a moment!" she replied, checking herself one last time in the mirror. Something was wrong. She quickly shuffled through her bags until she found the clockwork necklace, which she had taken off mistakenly last night, along with the Jem's jade pendant. She strung them around her neck, fiddled with their positions, and then strolled out the door.

"Yes, Magnus. What is i-"

"Oh, dear, Tessa! _What _are you wearing?" Magnus exclaimed, his cat eyes growing wide with confusion. Alec stood just a few feet behind him, looking up, just as bewildered.

"You told me that I needed to move on. And so I am doing so," she explained, walking over towards the kitchen despite their questioning stares.

"I know what I said. I'm just . . surprised that you actually took my advice," the warlock laughed. "Especially so quickly. God, Tessa. You need to wear jeans more often." Alec shot him a look that wasn't very pleasant, but Magnus just rolled his sparkling eyes.

"I don't know about that. But I will try," she replied, making herself a piece of toast.

"Where are you going, anyway? If you're going to see James, I presume he will have quite the same reaction . . . " he drifted off, out of character, noticing the look on her face.

"No, Magnus. I am not going to see James. Not yet," she murmured, her thoughts swirling in circles. The last time she saw him must have been about a year ago, when her desire to speak with him was at full height. But now, in the dimness of her memories, she fears speaking to her love once again. They have both changed too much that it has become difficult for Tessa to even see him sometimes. But she must soon. "I am actually heading over to the Institute. I would like to talk to Clary and Isabelle for a while."

"Oh, really? I was just about to head over there if you wanted to come with me . . ." Alec suggested, obviously still feeling a little bit awkward around Tessa, but willing to make an effort.

"Oh, that would be lovely. Are you sure you won't mind?" Tessa asked, feeling quite awful for burdening him, especially after last night.

"Yeah, it's no big deal," Alec shrugged.

"Why, that is very kind of you, darling." Magnus winked at him, grinning wide, and then turned back to Tessa. "Do tell me what goes on today, Tessa, when you get back." Magnus turned to his boyfriend and kissed him quickly, still smiling. Then, he turned around and strided off to his bedroom.

"Well," Alec said awkwardly. "We should go."

* * *

In a few minutes, Tessa and Alec were strolling along the streets of New York, drifting away from the familiar area around Magnus's apartment. After a few minutes of silence, Tessa abruptly pointed to a large brick building, one that has obviously been there for a long time. "There," she whispers, a huge grin on her face.

"What? If you're trying to see through the glamour, that's not the Institute," Alec laughed, warming up to Tessa a little bit.

"No, of course not. I'm actually quite good with glamours, considering my whole power consists of one," she informs him. Alec looks like he's about to ask about her power, but Tessa quickly finishes her thought. "Right there, however, is where I grew up!" The two of them stare up at the building, both examining it. To Tessa, its nearly identical, except for a few modern installments. Other than that, the structure of the building is just as she remembers. She scans the eastern side until her eyes settle on the window 3 rows up and to the left. "And that was my bedroom. Nathaniel was kind enough to give me the window room when we moved in with Aunt Harriet." At the memory of her brother being kind, she almost chokes up. But she quickly covers it and continues walking on.

Alec remains staring at the building, but then rushes back to her. "That's kind of cool. I mean, who knew you were only a few blocks away from the New York Institute?" he grins.

"Yeah. If only I would've known," she replies, shaking her head. Even though it would have been simpler to go to the New York Institute, she is very much appreciative of the fact that she ended up in London. She even thanks the Dark Sisters. If it wasn't for them and their plan, she never would have met Magnus or Jem. She never would have met William.

They walk in silence for a little while longer, until approaching a large, abandoned looking church. "Oh, and as a side note," Alec starts, walking up towards the front door. "If you need a place to stay that isn't with that . . . strange guy, just let me know. We'd be happy to have you at the Institute," Alec laughs. Tessa couldn't tell if he was genuinely being nice, or if he just wanted alone time with Magnus. It's not as if they had to stop anything for her benefit-they hadn't last night anyway. But either way, she was grateful.

"Thank you for the offer, Alexander," she grins as he opens the door. "I think I _may _be able to stand Magnus for a little bit longer, though." Alec laughs at that, then leads her through the door.

"Oh, and please," the Shadowhunter adds quickly, this time stepping into the elevator. "Call me Alec."

**I know this wasn't a very exciting chapter, but I had to have a little neutral section to get away from the emotional stuff. Anyways, I'll probably add more in a few days! Please review and leave suggestions :D Oh, and did everybody like that little _subtle _Malec hinting? I couldn't resist! Hope you liked it!**


	4. James

**I'm so sorry I had to do this to you guys. Read with caution ;)**

After Alec showed Tessa to Clary's door, where both girls were talking, Tessa thanked him and he turned to go. She now stands there, awkwardly determining what to say. It's not as if this is a regular conversation. She can't go up and say, "Hey, so I'm trying to make more friends so let's be friends?" Even Tessa, with her nineteenth century way of talking, new that would sound weird.

After a few minutes of standing there, she finally knocks on the door. She puts on her best smile and tries not to look too old. She often did that. "Hi," Clary says, opening the door and grinning at Tessa. Tessa still found it strange to look at Clarissa, all grown up. She remembers when Clary was just a baby and she helped Magnus perform the ritual to protect her from demons. After that, Tessa visited Jocelyn occasionally. But when Clary reached the age of about five, Jocelyn thought it was dangerous for Tessa to keep coming around. She didn't want Tessa to remember any person from the Shadow World-well, except Lucian. "What's up?"

"Hello," Tessa starts, hesitant. Isabelle comes up beside Clary and looks confused, but then tries her best to smile as well. "I was wondering if you'd like to 'hang out' with me today?" Clary looks a little shocked, and Isabelle seems to be caught off guard. "I . . . I just do not know many people in New York, and I thought, perchance, I could get to know you two?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah," Clary covers, coming out of her shock. "Sure, that'd be fun! What do you have in mind?" Isabelle nudges Clary in the side, obviously not in the mood to hang out with the olden-times freak. Clary glares at her and turns back to Tessa.

"It's really okay if you don't want to. I mean, I am probably not the most fun person to be around . ." Tessa replies, turning to go.

"No, come back," Isabelle gives in, grabbing her leather jacket off a hook, along with a dagger and her whip. She tucks the knife in her belt and twirls the whip around her wrist. "Let's go."

* * *

The three of them end up going to the bookstore, much to Isabelle's disliking, and then sitting down at Taki's. Both Clary and Tessa bought a couple of books, while Isabelle curiously studied the fantasy section, disgusted with mundanes' portrayal of the Shadow World. "Stupid mundies," she murmurs, stirring her drink with her straw. "Like, seriously. Simon _doesn't _sparkle."

Clary laughs at her, then turns to Tessa. "So, where do you usually live?"

Tessa smiles sadly at her, then replies, "I actually live in Idris." Both Clary and Isabelle's eyes go wide at this. Downworlders never, _ever _live in Idris. They barely even visit, and if they do, they ned permission.

"How is that possible?" Isabelle asks, actually glad she came here with Tessa. Maybe she can offer her some new information.

"It's a long story, but basically just comes down to me being the only one of my kind. No other warlock can change their shape perfectly to match another person like I can. And I don't have a warlock's mark. It's quite confusing," Tessa explains. "The Clave wanted me to stay in Idris so I can be at immediate assistance whenever they have a case requiring my expertise." Both Shadowhunters are still surprised, but seem to be understanding it a bit better.

"Is that why you were at the party? After the Mortal War?" Clary asks, remembering how she recognizes the girl. She had seen her talking to Magnus at the party, but couldn't really place a finger on it until now.

"Yes. I was actually working with the Clave on another solution to the war. They had proposed I transform into Valentine and tell Sebastian to disassemble the army. However, the plan proved to be too dangerous, and yours was much better," she grins at Clary.

"Thank you."

Kaelie comes over and refills the girls' glasses with water, smiling down at Tessa. "Tessa! It's been a while since I've seen you here," the faerie grins.

"Indeed it has. So nice to see you again," Tessa replies formally, although Clary can tell she's not quite fond of the fae. When the waitress leaves, Clary proceeds with the conversation.

"So, I don't want to push it, but I was wondering what exactly happened with you in the past?" she asks hesitantly.

Tessa looks stunned and starts to stir her coffee, contemplating whether or not to tell them. She finally decides that if she's going to move on, she's going to have to become more open to talking about her past. "What would you like to know?"

Clary bites her lip, thinking about what was left out from Magnus's short summary. However, Isabelle answers for her, "James. Who was James?" Clary eyes her angrily, but then turns to Tessa, secretly eager to learn about the mysterious.

Tessa smiles at the question, thrilled it has nothing to do with William or Charlotte or Nathaniel. Yes, James is a hard topic to talk about, but the fact that he's not dead made it easier. "Jem. Everyone called him Jem," she starts, grinning at the table. "Jem was . . tortured when he was a child. A Greater Demon captured his family and used Jem to hurt his parents by feeding him demon blood right in front of him. Eventually, the Demon killed his parents. But Jem's body had already adjusted to the poison in the blood, and could not survive without it. It would kill him if he stopped taking it, but taking it only prolonged his death," Tessa explains, the smile gone. No matter how wonderful Jem is, his disease always makes Tessa want to cry.

Clary takes Tessa's shaking hand and holds it gently. Tessa nods at her in appreciation and continues. "He-he didn't have much time left when I met him. Maybe a year, two if we were lucky. And then . . and then we fell in love. It was so perfect. He was so sweet and gentle and kind. And so one day he proposed. Of course I accepted. I loved him with all my heart, and turning him down would only ruin his last few months of life. He knew he would die soon, and made it clear that he would . . . And then . . And then there was a battle. And William," Tessa took a deep breath. "William sacrificed himself for James. They were parabatai, and Will couldn't survive the pain our engagement brought him . . . he loved me, as well, and couldn't bare to tell James or live with the pain. And he got a way out. So he took it." Now Tessa has tears in her eyes, feeling stupid for not realizing that talking about Jem required talking about Will. Even Isabelle seems saddened by the story, and Clary looks almost as bad as Tessa.

"And he told Jem, before he died, to look after me. No matter what it took . . . that he needed to know that someone was always there to love me." Tessa took her napkin and pressed it to her eyes, trying not to cry anymore. _Look after her, James. Please. Make sure that there is always someone there to love her. Do whatever it takes . . I love you, James. _That was what he had said. Jem told Tessa after. There was no stupid joke, no sarcastic remark, no "stay away from ducks." Just the beautiful words of William Herondale.

"And how did he do that?" Clary asked after awhile.

"He became a Silent Brother."

**What do you all think about that? I'm sorry if I made it too intense, but I really wanted to share my view on what's going to happen in CP2. Please review or suggest! :) I'll post a new chapter in a few days**


	5. The Silent Brother

**Okay so I'm going along with some of the theories, which I think are true, and if you have any theories that work with the direction I'm going in, please let me know. Also, I don't own a lot of the books (library) so if I get information wrong about the Silent Brothers, please let me know and I'll fix it. Thanks and enjoy :)**

"Wha-what do you mean?" Isabelle stutters, in complete shock. She knows its possible for a Shadowhunter to become one of the Brothers, but she has never met or even heard of anybody who'd do such a thing.

"I mean, he became a Silent Brother," Tessa repeats, wiping away her tears gently. This topic is definitely more approachable for her, but its still very hard. "Any Shadowhunter can do it. And it gave him immortality. It cured him."

"So, he's not sick anymore? He's . . . fine?" Clary asks softly, more aware of Tessa's emotions that Isabelle is. Tessa just nods her head, then takes a sip of water. "Have we met him?" she adds a few seconds later.

"Perhaps. I do not know much about your experiences though," Tessa answers. "He goes by the name of Zachariah, now."

"Wait-Jem is _Brother Zachariah?" _Isabelle says, almost choking on her own water. Clary's eyes widen in understanding and she sinks back in her chair.

"Yes. Yes he is," Tessa agrees, uncomfortable. "Most Shadowhunters change their names when they enter the Brotherhood, or Sisterhood if they're female, to avoid any ties with their past and such."

"So . . . did he do it secretly? Change his name to avoid recognition?" Clary questions.

"Yes, and no. Oh, its so very confusing. I think it would be much easier if I let Jem explain it to you himself," Tessa confesses. She knows the story isn't that confusing, but knows this is the perfect excuse to visit Jem while she's here. After all, the Brothers usually don't take visitors unless they have a reason. And this provides the perfect one.

"Really?" Isabelle asks, for the first time in her life excited to talk to the Silent Brothers.

"Yes. But I must _talk_ to him first. It's been quite a long time, and I do not think he'd appreciate our reunion if it consisted of merely explaining the past to a bunch of teenagers," Tessa laughs, excited to see James once again.

"Should we get the others? Alec? Jace?" Isabelle asks, wanting her brothers to experience this along with her. "Oh, and Simon?" she adds, wanting him there. He always comforts her, and going to the Bone City definitely requires some comfort.

"Of course. But I don't think we'll be going there. I'd rather just have Magnus call James over. It would be much of an inconvenience to have this conversation alongside all of the Brothers. We like to keep our story private." There was something about the way she said _our _that made the Shadowhunters think Tessa still loves Jem, no matter her feelings for Will.

Tessa stands up, drops a crisp bill on the table, and smiles at the girls. "Shall we?"

* * *

A few hours later, the Shadowhunters, Simon, Magnus, and Tessa are all gathered around the warlock's living room, once again, sipping cups of tea and patiently waiting. Magnus earlier instructed everybody to be aware of both Tessa and Jem's feelings while Tessa had changed back into her regular, Victorian-style dress. She would never were jeans in front of James.

Tessa sits on a love seat, tapping her foot nervously and drinking way too much of her tea at a time. The others make small talk, trying not to show their emotions for Tessa's sake. All of them, of course, have met Brother Zachariah-but the truth about him makes him seem like a whole new person, not just the Silent Brother who had come to their help multiple times.

"Tessa?" Magnus asks from the couch adjacent to her. She turns her head and looks at him with wide eyes. "Are you sure you'd like to do this, dear? How long has it been since you've seen him?" Magnus always could see through Tessa, no matter how well she hid her emotions. Right now, it was clear to Magnus that she was both thrilled and horrified to be seeing James.

"Yes. I cannot tell you how I've wished to see him again. I saw him last perhaps a year ago, and I was going to visit him anyway. It's just . . ."

"He's not the same anymore," Magnus finishes for her. Magnus knows well enough that when a Shadowhunter becomes a Brother of Sister, they are sometimes changed forever. Jem, luckily, is nearly the same guy. But he's gone through many different experiences throughout the years, and has changed quite a bit.

The doorbell rings and Magnus locks eyes with Tessa. He winks at her then rises from his chair to answer the door. Tessa was going to talk with James alone first, but Magnus insisted that talking to the group first would be easier. That way Tessa could have as much time alone with him, afterwards, as she needed.

Tessa tenses as she hears Magnus talking quietly to Jem, probably giving him a run down of what's going on. She aches to talk to him alone but knows this is the better choice. All the teenagers glance upwards as the Silent Brother approaches, dressed in the thick robes as usually, hood drawn completely over his scarred face. Tessa twists around to see him, standing there in the doorway, and feels her heart speed up at the sight of him. She stands up and walks quickly over to him, smiling wide. Even with his hood drawn up, Tessa can _feel _that he's smiling. She just knows it. "James," she whispers, her hands yearning to touch him, to hold him like she used to. But things are different now.

_Tessa. _His voice whispers into her mind, the sound of his happiness pure in her head. _How I have missed you. _Tessa reaches out for his hand, which he reluctantly lets her hold, and pulls it close to her chest. "I'm sorry, Jem. I should've come sooner," she whispers, closely her eyes and feeling the warmth of his hand on her heart. She used to visit Jem nearly every month, but has slowly started to become less distant. Jem must hate her for it.

_It's alright, Tessa. But we can discuss this later. Right now, we must share our story. _Jem leads her over to the couch and sits down beside her, his hand still locked with hers. The guests all turn towards him in anticipation, no one daring to ask the first question. Tessa glances at Jem quickly, as if saying, "Ready?" He nods, ever so slightly, and turns back to the group.

_What a pleasure to see you all again. I'd like to formally introduce myself, now that the truth is revealed. My name is James Carstairs, and I was, indeed, a Shadowhunter a long time ago. But I have become a Silent Brother in order to stay with and protect my one true love, Tessa Gray. _

**Sorry this is such a short chapter, but I didn't want to get into the backstory and stop halfway through, or this chapter would be REALLY long. I'll try to add another this week, but school is getting crazy. Anyways, please review, favorite, follow, suggest, whatever you like! Thanks :) **_  
_


	6. Indebted

**Here we go :) Hope all you Jessa shippers, like myself, appreciate this (although there will be A LOT more Jessa in the next chapter. But here's a little taste of it)!**

Jem and Tessa continue to recount their story as vaguely, but fulfilling, as possible. Magnus and Alec sit together, although the warlock's attention is more on Chairman Meow, since he already knows the story, considering he was there. Clary and Isabelle both seem to have a crush on Jem-not Brother Zachariah, but _Jem. _The boy who sacrificed his future for his true love. Simon and Jace, for once, are both in agreement that, while the story is quite interesting, its a little too sappy for their tastes.

_There was a large clockwork army the Shadowhunters of the time were up against. We had been battling it for along time, including many of its rulers. I must say I do not remember the details perfectly, but they're not very important for your purposes. _

"Basically, there was a lot of mystery to who was leading the army," Tessa helps out, squeezing his hand. "But eventually we figured it out, and just had to confront the army. And defeat it, of course."

_Yes. It was quite the task. But, luckily, many Shadowhunters and Downworlders were willing to help. Your ancestors, Gideon and even Gabriel Lightwood played a huge part, _Jem says, tilting his head towards Alec and Isabelle, who stared at him, shocked.

"What do you mean _even _Gabriel?" Isabelle inquired, leaning forward.

"Let's just say that the Lightwoods were not the most pleasant people back then," Magnus grins wickedly, winking at Alec. He rolls his eyes.

"But once Cecily convinced him to help, Gabriel was all in," Tessa adds. The others look confused and Tessa wonders what she missed. "Oh, I forgot. Jace, Cecily is one of your ancestors. She was William's sister, and she and Gabriel fell in love."

_Now _that_ is quite the story, _Jem laughs inside of their heads. Tessa thinks back to the confusing relationships that went on inside of the Institute halls, all of the drama and sacrifice and love. _Anyways, we had multiple people helping us fight the clockwork army. Magnus, of course. Woosley Scott, Camille Belcourt, Jo-_

"Camille Belcourt? Are you kidding me? Like, evil vampire Camille?" Clary asks, unable to picture the vampire as anything but a manipulative enemy.

"Yes, that Camille. She was still my . . . acquaintance back then," Magnus murmurs, trying to avoid a glare from Alec. It didn't work.

_Eventually we defeated the Clockwork army, but not without many losses. Henry, I'm afraid, did not make it. And William, _Jem whispers. You could almost hear the sound of oncoming tears in his voice. Tessa strokes his hand gently, nodding for him to go on. _William saved me-he jumped in front of an oncoming automaton while my back was turned. He almost killed it, but this one had knives for hands, and cut right through his chest. _

"James," Tessa whispers, signaling for him to stop. They all knew the rest of the story-about how Will told James to protect Tessa no matter what, to find a way. Jem nods his head and skips ahead, to after the battle was won. _I kept thinking, night after night, about how I could do it, how I could live with Tessa forever. Nobody really knew if she was going to be immortal or not, considering the rarity of her nature, but I couldn't take any chances. So I thought of the only way I knew would guarantee my immortality-becoming a Silent Brother. _

_It wasn't as bad as I thought it was. I didn't do it immediately, but tried to wait till the last minute to do it. For Tessa's sake. I remember how-how scared she was of the Silent Brothers at first, and I couldn't help but think she'd be horrified of me, too. _Tessa purses her lips, ashamed of herself, and stands up. She walks over to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of tea-but she really just doesn't want to hear this.

_So I waited until my illness got so terrible that I could barely function. Charlotte started keeping me in bed all day and night, and Tessa would lay beside me and talk with me all day, then read all night. She never slept, fearful that I would pass while she did. But eventually, I got her to leave for a few minutes to talk privately with Charlotte. I told her, then, of my plan. She was very hesitant of it at first, but soon gave in. I mean, who can refuse a dying boy? _he tries to laugh, but nobody even dares to smile in pity.

_So Charlotte called upon the Silent Brothers, who would take me that night and perform the ceremony. I said goodbye to everybody, except Tessa. I didn't want her to know. She would have felt guilty for the whole thing, and I couldn't bare to hurt her like that. So I waited until that night, until they came to take me. She was-she was worse than I could've imagined. Hysterical crying, sobbing, really. It was torturous, to see her in that much pain. But I knew it was the only way. I would have died in a few days anyway. _

Tessa still stands by the kitchen, pressing her palms into the granite countertops and staring at the floor, remembering. "Please, Jem, _please. Don't leave me!" _she had sobbed, collapsing on the ground against his bedside.

_So they took me away and performed the proper ceremonies. I'd rather not discuss that in detail. But, eventually, I knew I had to face Tessa. I had changed my name in order to avoid her finding out who I was. She knew I was a Silent Brother, but she had no way of figuring out any more. I left her in the dark. And I regret that everyday of my life._

"How'd she find out?" Simon asks quietly, now more interested in the story than before. Tessa walks back slowly towards the group and smiles lightly at Simon, resting her hands on Jem's shoulders.

"I shifted into him," she answers. "I changed into him in order to find out who he was, where he was, everything I could. And I found him. And I-I was so horribly guilty . . . I felt like everything was my fault."

_But it wasn't. I have never wished I had chosen differently in my life. Without Tessa, my life would have been meaningless. But with her, I couldn't care less whether I'm a demon-fighting Shadowhunter or a scarred, hideous Silent Brother._

"You're not hideous," Tessa whispers, remembering that night in his room. When they had fallen in love. She repeats the lines to him, leaning into you. "Beautiful. You are beautiful, James Carstairs." She can feel him smile.

_"_So . . . then what?" Jace asks, not to fond of the two's little exchange.

_I talked to Tessa about it and we worked things out. She stayed at the Institute until, eventually, everyone grew out and moved on. Another family took over the Institute after Charlotte, and her son, Willy, moved to Idris. _

"I moved around a lot for a while. I even stayed with Magnus for a year or so. Jem and I couldn't live together, for obvious reasons, but we saw each other often. Eventually, the Clave asked me to live in Idris, for reasons which I explained earlier. I still live there today, but often travel around because of buisness," Tessa concludes, hoping this story has been sufficient enough for the teenagers.

"Thank you for sharing that," Clary says after a long silence. "I'm sorry about everything that happened, though."

_It's not your fault, Clarissa. It's just life. Things are wonderful and beautiful and magical, and others are horrible and painful and hard. But that's how it works. _

Clary smiles back at him, feeling inspired by the Silent Brother who isn't as silent as she thought. "Thank you, again," she says as she stands up, knowing this is their cue to leave. The others thank the couple gratefully, all still dazed by the story, and follow out through the door. Clary's about to leave when she remembers something, and turns back to Jem. "Is that what you meant a while ago? About ties between the Herondales and the Brothers?" she recalls.

_Yes. That is what I meant. I will forever be indebted to William for my life and my love. _

"And the two people you would've died for? The ones you loved?" she adds. "William and Tessa."

He nods again.

"Thank you, Brother Zach-Jem. Thank you Jem," she repeats, grinning, and closes the door.


	7. Scared

**JESSA HERE WE GO! (sorry it's so short though!)**

The door clicks shut and Tessa rushes into Jem's arms. She can't help it any longer. The whole conversation she was just dying to touch him, to feel him, to love him. And now she can.

His body is warm against hers, strong and sturdy. Her hair mixes in with his cloak, his rough hands running through it, and she let's out a sigh of relief. She had missed him so much.

"I'll leave you two alone," Magnus murmurs to himself. He leaves the room just as Tessa grabs at Jem's hood, pulling it down and pulling her face to his. His lips, left unstitched for reasons even Jem does not know of, melt into hers. Their bodies twine together as she pulls herself onto his lap. She pulls wildly at his dark brown hair, which returned to its natural shade after becoming a Silent Brother and restraining from the drug. He hugs her closer, feeling every inch of her skin, her neck, her arms, her legs. She's thankful for wearing a dress, since she doesn't believe his delightful touches would have worked through her jeans. _Tessa_, he whispers into her mind, the lack of breath still apparent in her head. _I love you, Tessa, I love you._

She pulls away, gasping for air, and leans against his chest, not wanting to let go. "I love you too, James," she whispers against his robe, covered in the blood-like runes. "And I'm so sorry. I just-I couldn't-I don't know," she confesses, looking up into his chocolate eyes. "I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head at her and cups her face in his hands, delicately stroking her cheeks. _It's okay. I understand, Tessa. Please, don't be sorry._

"But I was so horrible . . . so terrible. I left you alone for a year. And I don't even know why . . . " she pauses, gathering her thoughts. "I assume I was scared."

_Scared of what?_

"That you would hate me."

_And why would that ever happen?_

"Because I can't do this anymore, Jem. I just can't!" she cries, holding his hands over her face.

_What can't you do, wo de ai?_

"This."

Jem looks down and takes a large breath, tears rising in his eyes. _You don't mean-_

"Of course I don't, Jem!" Tessa assures, holding his shoulders tight. "I mean I cannot do _this _anymore. I cannot only see you once every few months. I cannot only touch you now. I cannot only see your face when we're alone. I cannot wake up every morning without you beside me. I cannot sit alone at home with no one to talk to. But I cannot let you go, Jem. I'd never let you go," she whispers, her voice cracking as she cries.

_Tessa, I know it's hard. But it's the only way. I think about _this _everyday. I think about how I rarely get to hear your voice, touch your face, kiss your lips. Love is hard, Tessa. And we can not give up._

"I do not want to give up," she agrees, laying against his chest. "I just want another way. There has to be a way. To at least live together, Jem. Can you not imagine?"

_Of course I can! Do you honestly think I love being a Silent Brother? No! But I did it for you!_

That was the wrong thing to say.

Tessa's face tightens up as she resists the urge to cry, but does anyway. Tears stream down her face, choke her throat, blur her vision. _No, Tessa, please! That's not what I meant!_

"You hate it, don't you?" she sobs. "You hate every minute of it. I know you do." Jem looks away. "And I did this to you. _I did this to you," _she cries in agony, the guilt eating her up, dissolving her skin.

_Tessa, please stop. Wo ai ni, Tessa. I cannot bare to see you like this, I just_ _cannot_. He touches a delicate hand to her skin, tilting her head upwards. Through the black streaks across her face, Jem can still see the beautiful women who he fell, and continues to fall, in love with. _I didn't mean it like that, Tessa. I was angry, that's all._

"But you hate it."

_No, I don't hate it. It's not the most joyous thing in the world, but it's not horrible. If it means that I get to spend even one second with you, I would, and will, do this for eternity. Tessa, I do not care what I am doing as long as you are there with me._

"It's my fau-"

_It isn't. I chose this because I wanted to do it. Do you honestly think that what Will said changed anything? I had already been searching for a way for months. And Will must've been thinking the same. I-I never had another choice, Tessa. My choice was _always_ you._

"Really? You-you were going to stay with me no matter what? You had already planned it?" she questions, her eyes big and gray, the tears filling them now out of pure love.

_Of course. I do not know what I would do without you, Tessa. _She smiles at him and then kisses him gently against the cheek, where dark runes cover his pale skin. "I do not know, either."

_I'm fairly sure you'd spend your time with Magnus_, he laughs.

Tessa giggles and grins, "That is the most inaccurate guess I have ever heard in my entire life."

_It was worth a try._

Tessa and Jem lay there for a while, hearing the sound of each others' heartbeats and breaths. The lights soon flick off, probably Magnus's doing, and the two readjust so that they're laying, curled on top of each other, across the couch. Entwined together.

_I think it would be rather nice for every night to be like this one._

Tessa looks at him curiously, not sure why he would ruin the moment with something that will only depress her more.

_So we must try to make it that way._

The girl smiles, tears filling her eyes, and nods against him. "Yes. We must try, indeed."

**Wo de ai: my love (I looked this up, so if its wrong, please let me know!)**

**Also, Brother Zachariah does not look like the other brothers! Cassandra Clare described him as still having dark hair and eyes, and a mouth that is unstitched. I did not make it up! Apparently the newer Brothers aren't as scarred or something.**

**What do you think will happen with Tessa and Jem? Will they discover a way? And what will the others discover about their past, their ancestors?**


	8. Ancestors

When Tessa wakes the next morning, Jem is

She sits up, stretching her arms out, and smiles sadly at the empty spot beside her. She knows that Jem is not aloud to stay outside of the Bone City for a night, unless approved of by the Clave. They barely allow Jem's occasional visits. Silent Brothers are supposed to be isolated from all social interaction, unless regarding "business."

But Tessa doesn't care. And neither does Jem.

If they want to make their love work, Tessa and James are going to need to break some of the rules. Or create their own.

"Good morning, Tessa," Magnus smiles from the kitchen, interrupting Tessa's thoughts. She twists around and nods at him, feeling embarrassed for not realizing he was there. "Tea?"

"Why, yes, thank you," she replies, shuffling over towards the table. She never took off of dress from last night, which is now crumpled and wrinkly, hanging limply across her body. Her hair, she fears, is a wild mess of brown resting a top her head. And she doesn't even want to know what her face looks like.

"I take it last night went well?" Magnus inquires, his cat eyes gleaming over the rim of his mug.

"Yes. Very well," she smiles, thinking of how Jem promised her he'd try. And he never breaks his promises.

"It has been quite some time since I have seen James," Magnus states. "I will still never get used to his hair being brown instead of silver . . ."

Tessa smiles at that. "I know what you mean. Even though the color was just another reminder that Jem was sick, it made him special and beautiful," Tessa remarks. She remembers looking into his almost translucent, glowing eyes and thinking they were the most gorgeous eyes in the world. "I just wish he co-"

Her voice is cut off by a knock at the door, shocking both Magnus and Tessa. The warlocks look at each other in confusion before Magnus stands up to answer it. As the door swings open, Tessa can see his face turn up into a large grin, then sink down into a scowl. "Jace . . . what a _lovely _surprise." Tessa can see a little bit of the golden boy standing in the doorway, beside Alec, who's right in her range of view.

"And Alec, my dear," he says, leaning in to kiss him. Tessa had wondered why Alec hadn't stayed over, but assumed it was because of Jem. He obviously didn't want to intrude.

The two Shadowhunters walk inside, Alec looking happy, Jace seeming uncomfortable. "Not that I'm not glad to see you, but why exactly are you here?" Magnus asks, directing the first part towards his boyfriend, and the second to Jace.

"I had some questions," Jace says, " . . . for Tessa."

"Oh," Tessa exclaims, popping out of her seat. "One second!" She rushes back into her room and changes into the same pair of jeans from before, and a flowing, red blouse. Her hair is disturbing, but she doesn't want to keep the boys waiting. She runs a brush quickly through it, and then dashes back into the kitchen. "Sorry, I wasn't dressed yet."

Jace laughs at that, probably used to the same kind of thing from Clary. Everybody starts to shift towards the couches, Tessa smiling awkwardly at Jace. What questions could he possibly have for her?

"So, what would you like to know?" Tessa wonders, voicing her thoughts.

Jace looks hesitant, then sighs and glances towards Tessa. "I was wondering if you would tell me about my family." When the warlock remains silent, he continues. "About the Herondales."

Tessa takes a deep breath and nods. "Oh-okay." She knows that she can do this. As long as she is positive. She's already shared all of the bad with them. How hard could it be?

"And, if you don't mind, the Lightwoods, maybe?" Alec asks quietly.

"I could have told you about them, sweat pea," Magnus says, wishing his boyfriend had come to him first.

"I didn't really think about it until Jace brought it up," he replies. "And don't call me that." Jace snickers.

"I would love to tell you about them, actually." Tessa smiles, remembering the Lightwood boys and their extensive training sessions. The ones she shared with Sophie. "Well, as you know, I only knew two Herondales. William and his sister, Cecily–although I was not as close with her. You know all about William. Actually, he's quite similar to you, Jace. He was funny, sarcastic, intelligent, strong. And he loved books. And poetry. I–I loved that about him," she smiles. "He especially loved _A Tale of Two Cities."_

Jace perks up at that, wondering if the book was somehow passed down from generation to generation. Tessa looks at him, "Do you know the book well?" Jace just nods, letting her continue on. "Cecily, on the other hand, was very . . . different. She was outspoken, bold, not to be messed with. I didn't know her very well, as I've said, but she definitely had a good heart. And she was a great Shadowhunter."

"She's just like Isabelle, actually," Magnus adds.

"Yes, well, that makes sense," Tessa says. "See, Cecily is technically both of your ancestors. More of Alec's actually." Alec looks up at this, amused. "Cecily married Gabriel Lightwood. Gabriel was a very perplexing man. He was harsh and cruel, but it was like a wall he built up. It wasn't the real him. No . . . the real him was kind and caring, just too afraid to show it."

"What did Cecily look like?" Jace asks.

"She was gorgeous, with long, dark hair. Much like Isabelle in both appearance and personality," Tessa confirms. "That's how the Lightwoods became known for their dark hair. Before that, it was all blond and brown. Anyway, Gabriel's brother, Gideon, was truly a sweetheart. He was much smarter than his brother, and much kinder at heart. Gideon fell in love with one of the Institute's maids, Sophie. She was such a wonderful lady. But she knew that Gideon and herself could never be together, for she was human."

"Wait–the Institute had maids? Mundie maids?" Jace asks, surprised.

"It was a different time, then, Jace," Magnus informs. "Nearly everyone had a maid or servant of sorts."

"Yes. Sophie had the Sight, and Charlotte gladly offered her the job. She was such a delight. I don't know how I would have survived my time at the Institute without her . . . but I cannot help but pity her. Gideon was not allowed to marry a human, and she knew it would be too much to ask to Ascend. But Gideon truly did love her, and insisted upon finding a way." She smiles sadly to herself. "But he couldn't. It was either Ascend, which was too risky and not actually something Sophie wanted to do, or stay apart. So they left. One day, the two of them just ran away from the Institute, from London, from the Shadow World."

There is a long silence as the boys took the story in, each wondering what they would do if they were in love with a mundane. After a while, Alec leans in and asks, "So what happened?"

"No one heard from them or anything. I am afraid I am the only one who saw them again, and that was after many years. They were here, in New York, living a life of purely love. It was quite beautiful. But they were both so old, and it had been so long. It just wasn't what I had been expecting . . ."

"And what happened with Will? I mean, how did the Herondale line continue if he died?" Jace wondered, trying to put it as lightly as possible. Even Jace knew not to mess with Tessa's fragile emotions.

"I'm afraid I don't exactly know. But Will and Cecily weren't the last of the Herondales, so to speak. They had distant relatives who must have continued the blood line. I wish I could tell you about them, but I never really knew them."

"That's okay. Thanks," Jace says, acting strangely proper and kind.

"Of course. If there's anything you'd ever like to know, feel free to ask me."

Jace stands up to leave, nodding in acknowledgement towards Magnus. "Thanks." He opens the door and leaves.

"Yeah, thanks, Tessa," Alec repeats, smiling at me. He definitely seems interested with the short family history. Tessa stands up and grins at him, then turns to Magnus.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be going. I'll be back later tonight."

"Where are you going?"

Tessa bites her lip and grins, "Idris."


	9. Preposition

**Note: Since I do not own all the books, some of my details on the Gard's description is shaky. Please correct me if I'm wrong. Also, if you haven't already noticed, this fanfic doesn't take place at a specific time, so I can't really say who the Consul, Inquisitor, etc. are right now. So I'm just going to refer to them as that. Thanks and hope that's okay with you all :)**

After opening up a portal–which she's learned to do over the years– Tessa steps through and arrives inside of the Glass City itself, right infront of the Demon wards. She steps away from them, knowing that they should technically keep herself out, and heads into the town. A few Shadowhunters pass by and smile at her. Everybody in Alicante knows the one and only Downworlder to ever live in the city.

She's now lived in Alicante for almost 100 years, watching as generation by generation goes by. Her home is one of the oldest in the city, only a few blocks away from the Gard. Instead of heading to her house, though, she goes straight towards the Gard.

Nephilim are standing outside of the building, making sure no one enters. Tessa approaches one of them, David, and tilts her head, "Is there a meeting going on?" she wonders. Usually the guards are only there if their is something important going on within the walls.

David nods and turns to her. "Yes, Miss Gray, but it should be over in a minute. What brings you back so soon? I thought you have business with Magnus Bane," he inquires.

Although Tessa isn't on close terms with the guard, she is familiar enough with him that she doesn't mind talking about the matter with him. "Yes, I do have business with him. I'm only here for a few hours. But I needed to discuss matters about my husband with the Clave."

His face twists in confusion. "You mea-"

"Yes, I mean the Silent Brother." The majority of people in Idris know about her marriage with Jem, but very few feel that it's fair. Mainly because multiple Brothers, and Sisters, have given up their families in order to do what they do, while Jem has not. Some people even despise Tessa because of it, but she doesn't care. She's not Nephilim so she shouldn't have to live by their rules.

"I'm sorry, Miss Gray. I did not mean to offend you."

"It's okay," she sighs, fidgeting with her skirts. She decided to change back into her usual style of dress before portaling here. The silver, lace trimming the edges of the dress and sleeves reminds her of Jem's old eyes. She smiles to herself.

The big doors of the Gard, with C's for handles, suddenly burst open, a rush of people flowing out. The Nephilim guards part ways, letting them through. It must've been a big meeting, possibly with Enclave representatives, since the people just keep on coming. Tessa just hopes that the Consul is in a good mood, and that his previous meeting didn't ruin it.

"Good luck," David murmurs as Tessa strides inside, just before the doors close. She spots the Consul and Inquisitor standing off to the side, still in discussion. The Consul sees her, however, and smiles kindly at her.

"Tessa, my dear, what brings you back so soon?" he asks, rushing over towards her and leaving the Inquisitor alone. "Did everything go alright in New York?"

"Yes, Consul, everything is fine. I just had to talk to you about something, and the sooner the better," Tessa explains, nerves fluttering inside her. What will he say when he hears her preposition?

"Oh, yes, of course," he agrees, leading her towards a long, gleaming table. He sits down at the head of it and gestures for Tessa to take the seat adjacent to his. She sits down gratefully and looks down at her skirts. "Now what does this matter concern?"

"Well," she starts, pursing her lips. "It is about James and I."

The Consul's eyes go from sweet and understanding, to hard and cold. Tessa flinches. "Now, Tessa, you know that we are already very much lenient when it comes to your situation with him," he tests. Tessa knows that he would do anything for her as long as it doesn't require breaking the rules. So whenever Tessa brings up something like this, that blatantly disobeys all Shadowhunter policies, the Consul always tesnes up.

"I know, sir. And I am so very grateful for that. It's just . . . I would like to propose another solution."

"A solution to what? Your problem is solved. You and James get to see each other every so often! What more can I do?"

Tessa can feel the tears stinging her eyes, but pushes them back. She knows the Consul will say no. There's no way he'll approve of such a crazy idea. But she has to try. Jem promised he'd try, and now she has to, too. "Consul, I was wondering if James and I could perhaps live together."

The Consul raises his eyebrows in shock, his eyes feeling with disbelief and anger. And then his forehead scrunches up in thought, like he's actually considering this. "Go on," he murmurs, shocking Tessa.

"Well, if the two of us were to live together, it would eliminate any problems of visiting and such. We could live closed to one of the entrances to the Bone City, and he'd really only come home at nighttime, when the Brothers sleep anyway. And I know I wouldn't be staying here in Idris anymore, but I would make any of the Clave's concerns my first priority if I were to move. And since I can open portals, I could get to the Gard with ease if you required it."

"Okay."

"What?" she gasps.

"Okay. I will look into it. I cannot guarantee it, since that is going beyond breaking our rules. But I can say that I believe you make a good case and I will look into it. You've done so much for us, the least we can do is try to help you," the Consul sighs.

"Uh–tha–thank you so much, Consul!" she stammers, still in awe.

"You are quite welcome, Tesa. But remember, I can't make any promises," he smiles again and then heads outside of the doors.

Tessa stands there for a few moments in shock before opening up a portal to the Bone City.


	10. AN

**Hey I'm really sorry but I won't be updating for a while. I have tech week for a show I'm in, and I'm loaded with school work. Anyways, I should be able to post another chapter or two in about a week or so. Sorry! But, if you have any suggestions for future scenes, please feel free to leave them! And pleeaseee review. I love reading reviews :)**

**Anyways, sorry about this and I hope to have a new chapter up sometime next week!**


	11. Shiver

Tessa steps out of the portal, now standing in the dark, eerie grounds of the City of Bones. She runs her hand down the wall, made out of the ash of Shadowhunter's, and wonders whose remains she's touching now. The air is warm and thick, closing in on her like a blanket. The pure silence of the room makes every move she makes sound like thunder, echoing through the city. _Excuse me._ The voice pops into her head and she jumps in surprise, gasping at the sudden sound in the Silent City.

She turns to see a Silent Brother standing in front of her, one she recognized well as Brother Enoch. This particular Brother has been kind to Jem over the years, despite his unfair exceptions as a Brother. "Oh, I'm sorry, Brother Enoch!" she apologizes, stepping away from the walls. "I'm here to see Ja-Brother Zachariah."

_Of course,_ he nods, extending his hand in front of him. _Come with me_. The former Nephilim leads her down the cryptic halls of the City. She's never been fond of it, especially since it brings back horrible memories: the searches for her mark, the horrifying look on her brother's face when Jeremiah came to help them, and Jessamine being locked away here. Other than those few occurrences with the Brothers, Tessa tries to stay away. The only time she's ever come here to meet Jem was when she first found out about what he did, back when she thought he had left her. But now, standing here in the darkness, Tessa remembers exactly why she kept her distance.

_What brings you here, Miss Gray? I have not seen you in many years. _His voice, although familiar, still sends chills down her back. It's nothing at all like Jem's sweet whisper in her head, so soft and lovely.

"I have important news to share. And things to discuss," she murmurs nervously. She knows the Brother's aren't too fond of her, mainly because she's favored when it comes to the rules of the Shadow World. And sharing her news about Jem _possibly _leaving the Silent City would only make them hate her more. Even Brother Enoch.

_I see. Well, I will leave you be. _Enoch gestures to an open doorway, which Tessa nearly steps into, before he stops her. _Wait. I must warn you that he is . . . not the same. _

She turns to look at him, her head snapping, and stares right into his empty eyes. "What do you mean?" she whispers fiercely.

_I am sssuming that you're here to discuss a certain proposition that you and Zachariah are making to the Brothers._

"How did y-"

_All I can say is that he may have brought it up, and the news wasn't taken very well. _And with that, he turns to leave, Tessa still standing their in shock. What could he possibly mean, Tessa thinks.

"James!" she cries, walking into the room, horrified. Did they do something to him? Did they hurt him? The Silent Brothers are not a violent group, she assures herself. "Jem!"

_Tessa, go away! Please just leave me! _His voices screams in her head, making her stumble backwards. He's never yelled at her like this.

She stares into the darkness of the room, the ash walls becoming more and more black the longer she looks. In the corner she can almost make out a huddled figure, crouched on the ground. "Jem, what are you talking about?" she replies, rushing over to her.

_Stop! Please, Tessa. Please don't come any closer. I-you can't see me like this_, he pleads, the sound of his desperation creeping into her mind. Even so, she takes a hesitant step forward. Her whole body feels like she's being pricked by needles, icy chills spreading throughout. She doesn't remember when it became so cold. The cool air stings her skin until she is forced to wrap her arms around herself.

But she soon realizes that it isn't the cold that's making her shiver.

It's the fear.

"J-J-Jem. W-whats g-going on?" she manages, her teeth chattering in fright. "Please, J-James." Tears start to run down her face, and she wipes them away hastily.

_Tessa, please, I am begging you. I need you to leave. Please don't ever come back. _

"What are you talking about?" she screams without stuttering. "I need to see you! I love you, Jem. I cannot leave you!"

_Jiànliàng, wo de ai. But you must go._

"Never," she sobs.

_Tessa. Go. I will explain later. Just-just don't come to me. I will find you._

She stands still, not moving, just a few feet from him. After seconds of silence, James turns around and looks into her.

And Tessa screams.

Because she doesn't see Jem anymore. Not the silver hair or the silver eyes. Not even the dark brown ones she's grown to know. Not the fair skin and pale lips, the kind smile and sweet dimples. Instead she sees the mutilated, horrific face of a Silent Brother. A true Silent Brother. Empty eye sockets that bore into her, somehow still seeing her. Stitched lips, sewn shut with blood red thread. And parchment pale skin, covered in unusual runes that terrify her. _I'm sorry, my love. _

Tessa turns and runs.

* * *

**Didn't see that coming, did you? I had to bring conflict into their relationship, and I thought this might work. What do you guys think? How will Tessa respond to the new James? What will Jem do? Please tell me what you think will happen, or how you like it so far!**

**_Jiànliàng, wo de ai: Please forgive me, my love (again, not sure if this is right). _**


	12. Shock

She runs as fast as she can, tears rolling off of her chin. Her hair whips behind a her as she picks up her gown and flies up the stairs. Brother Enoch stands off to the side, watching her, and almost feels bad for her. She never saw it coming.

Tessa's breathing, ragged and shaky, grows wild as she opens up a portal, too horrified to run the rest of the way. She falls into it, stumbling as she cries, and lands on Magnus's couch. "Tessa?" he asks, looking up from his book in confusion. She sits up and wraps her arms around herself, shivering, sobbing. "My dear, what happened?" he asks, his cat eyes settled on her tear-streaked face.

Magnus does a rather unusual thing and wraps his arms around Tessa, brushing her hair away. Alec, who had been in his bedroom, comes into the living room in surprise. Magnus gives him a fierce look, wanting him to leave, but he sits down anyways. Tessa doesn't mind Alec.

After a few minutes of comforting Tessa's sorrowful cries, Magnus pulls away and looks into her eyes. They're red and puffy, filled with tears. "What happened?"

"I-he-" she mumbles. She takes another deep breath and looks back at her friend. "I went to-to Idris and talked to the Consul. He s-said that he would help J-jem and I."

"Okay, that's good, right?" Alec asks, studying the girl sympathetically.

"Yes, but-but then, I went to the Silent City. And J-jem wouldn't see me," she stutters. Magnus makes a steaming cup of tea appear and hands it to her, hoping it will calm her. After she takes a few sips, and it still isn't working, he wraps a soft blanket around her. Tessa's state improves just enough so that she can talk. "But I needed to talk to him. And I . . . I was scared. But he wanted me to leave so badly. I didn't understand why. I was so confused. And then . . . and then he turned around."

She pinches her eyes shut, trying not to cry, but failing miserably. "Tessa, what happened when he turned around?" Magnus encourages her kindly.

"And he was one of them."

"What do you mean? Who?" Alec wonders.

"He-he was one of the Brothers," Tessa laments, covering her face with her hands. Magnus bites his lip, thinking of what to say, while Alec stupidly keeps talking.

"But he's always been one of them, right? I mean for at least a hundred years now. I don't get it." Magnus's head snaps around to give him a death glare but Tessa shakes her head.

"No, he can stay. I like him here," she whispers, smiling thankfully at Alec. Over the past few days, she has grown quite fond of her friend's lover. "And, yes. Of course he has always been a Brother. But now . . now he _looks_ like one." Alec nods his head in understanding.

"Tessa, may I ask you this?"

"What is it?"

"You've said so before that you wouldn't care how Jem looked, even if he was a Silent Brother. You said you loved him anyway. So why is it that you're so . . distraught over this?" the Shadowhunter questions.

Tessa sits up straight, obviously thinking about this for the first time herself. "I . . . I don't know. I thought I would love him-I still do. I just never thought I'd be so . . . horrified," she chokes on the word, ashamed of herself. "Oh my, I'm such a terrible person! I told him I wouldn't care and I screamed. I _screamed _at him!" she wails, burying her face in her pillow.

"Tessa, you're not a terrible person," Magnus states. "You're just in shock, that is all. The last time you saw James, he was just like his Shadowhunter self, only silent. And you went to see him again, and everything was different. I would have been shocked too."

"Really?"

"Of course. It's like that one time when Chairman Meow came back with purple hair. I was so terrified that I made him sleep in the bathroom," Magnus recalls. Luckily, he figured out the cat had just taken the wrong drink at one of his parties.

Tessa laughs and this, smiling gratefully at her friend's strangeness. "Thank you, Magnus. But . . . he probably hates me now."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because of how I reacted. Even if it was partially justified, it was still terrible," she sighs, playing with her golden locket. She always does so when she's nervous.

"I'm sure he understands. Why don't I go on and talk to him for you? Figure out what exactly happened and why he is this way?" Magnus suggests, figuring that Jem won't want to talk to Tessa in order to save her the burden of looking at him. If there's one thing Magnus knows, it's that Jem would do anything for Tessa. And if that means hiding behind his cloak from her, he'd do it.

"He said not to find him. That'd he'd come to me," she tells him, shaking her head regretfully.

"But he didn't say _I _couldn't find him, now did he?" the warlock grins, his yellow eyes gleaming.

"No."

"Good! Then I'll be back late tonight. Alec, dear, please watch over Tessa," he says, standing up and pecking him on the cheek.

"Sure," he says, blushing.

"Oh, and make sure Chairman Meow stays out of my cabinets."

By the time Magnus leaves, Tessa's smiling again.

**Sorry this is so short. And kind of bad. I just didn't know where to go from there. Anyways, please review and tell me what you think! **


	13. Monster

Magnus Bane strolls down into the Silent City casually, as if he is walking into a supermarket rather than the ominous home of the Silent Brothers. After 800 years of traveling to the underground City, he has become quite accustomed to the unpleasant surroundings. Wearing a bright purple v-neck and sparkling sequins pants, looking very out of place, the warlock approaches one of the robed figures wavering in the darkness. "Hello, there," he grins, cat eyes gleaming.

_High Warlock of Brooklyn, what brings you here? _The Brother responds, his voice unfamiliar to Magnus. Then again, they all sound the same in his head. The Brothers aren't really one for individuality.

"I have come to see James–or I guess you could say Brother Jeremiah. I wish to speak with him."

_Is he expecting you, Mr. Bane?_

"I do believe so," Magnus lies. "I need his assistance with a client, and I told him that today is the day. Can you call him down, perchance?" Part of what the warlock said is true, if you could call Tessa a client.

_It will be just a moment, Mr. Bane_.

The Brother trudges off, his footsteps soundless, down into the deep depths of the Bone City. Magnus leans casually against the wall of ash, which is probably disrespectful, and plays with the blue sparks bubbling on the tips of his fingers. He often did this when he was bored. The blue light glows brightly as he clenched his hand into a fist, then dims as he relaxes his fingers. His mind wanders to Alexander, wishing he had brought him along. Even though Alec would probably mess everything up, having him beside Magnus always made him feel better.

He's too busy playing with he glowing sparks that he doesn't even notice when James appears beside him. Of course, it's not like he could have _heard _him coming, but still. "Mr. Carstairs, lovely to see you here."

_What do you want, Magnus? _Jem replies, sounding slightly angered. _Did Tessa send you here?_

"Right you are, James," he grins, turning to face him and flicking off the blue light. He knows that Jem will do anything to learn about how Tessa is, and talking to Magnus is his way in.

_Is-Is she okay? Does she hate me? Please tell me she's okay! _he pleads into his head, the desperation clear in his voice. Magnus looks up into the space where James' golden brown eyes should be and nods his head. Magnus doesn't even twitch at the glimpse of distorted skin and stitched lips that James has become.

"She is doing fine, but she has been better, Mr. Carstairs. We were just talking–about you, as you've probably assumed."

_What did she say? Is she crying? I cannot stand to see her cry, _he asks, anxious with worry.

"Yes, she did cry, but only for a bit. She feels horrible about how she reacted and is ashamed of herself," Magnus starts, although he knows this will worry the former Shadowhunter more.

_She's ashamed? _She _is? That-that's not right! She has nothing to be ashamed of. I'm a monster . . . she has the right to scream. _Jem's heart pounds in his chest as he realizes how horrible of a mistake he has made. He never thought this is what would've become of his relationship.

"She believes she's a terrible person for acting so scared. She said that she loves you no matter what, and that she is very sorry," Magnus relays the message.

_But, she's not a terrible person. Not at all. She's the most amazingly beautiful and kind person I have ever encountered._

"Yes, James, we all know how you feel about her." Magnus rolls his eyes.

_I _know, _Magnus! I am just saying that she needs to stop hating herself. _Jem takes a deep breath through his nose, something he has to do now that his lips are stitched together. _She–she said that she still loves me? Even though I look like a gruesome monster?_

"Yes, of course she still loves you. And don't say that about yourself, Mr. Carstairs. I once dated a gruesome monster, and she was a million times uglier than you." Magnus says, thinking of Camille. Although the girl is drop dead gorgeous, her heart is about as hideous as they come.

_I know. It's just that I wish I didn't have to fail her. She's been through so much and all I wanted to do was make everything right. And things have been fine up until now. Before I looked like . . . _this_, it was just as if I was still a Shadowhunter. Just like we were still in London. But now I've ruined everything, Magnus. It will never be the same._

Magnus rolled his eyes and looked at Jem, angered slightly by the stupidity of the boy. "Of course it will never be the same! Nothing is ever the same. I know that better than anyone. And if you think some stupid transformation will change Tessa's love for you, then you really are an idiot. Don't let this change what the two of you have. It's something beautiful and priceless and eternal. Don't keep underestimating your relationship, James. All that will do is end it." Magnus can be quite wise at times.

_You really believe that, Magnus? That I'm underestimating our love?_

"I believe that you're not trusting that Tessa loves you."

_So what should I do?_

"You can start by explaining how this all happened."

* * *

After a good half hour, the warlock nods his head understandingly, sitting on the steps leading down the City. Jem had explained what exactly happened after he and Tessa parted ways the day before. Jem had gone back to the City of Bones in order to propose that he moves into Tessa. He explained to the Brothers that their house would be close and that he would only be sleeping there, convincing them that it would not affect his duties of a Silent Brother. At first, Jem thought the Brothers had accepted his proposition well. But he was never more wrong

_One of the eldest Brothers took me into another room to discuss that matter privately. I thought he was going to agree with me, and he did, but . . ,_ Jem had said earlier, _he said that I've made so many exceptions within the Brotherhood, that I would have to give one of them up. It didn't register to me that he was talking about being spared from the, uh, disfigurations. _Jem had taken a deep breath then, trying not to think to hard about it. It would only make him feel worse. _So he grabbed my head and tilted it backwards, this icy pain spreading through my face. It hurt so very terribly. Only then did I understand what was happening._

_And then I couldn't see. Not like everything was black, but I just couldn't make out anything specific. Eventually my vision faded completely, and I was left in the dark. I can still see when something moves, like a sort of sixth sense. It's not as horrible as I imagined, but it is pretty depressing. _

_After a while, I don't know how long, it felt like my skin was starting to burn away. Fire was spreading through my face and I couldn't do anything about it. Next I felt these little pricks forming around my mouth. Needles. Soon enough, my mouth wouldn't open no matter how hard I tried. _

_I don't know how long I stood there with the Brother as he deformed my face, but it was the worst pain I have ever felt. When he was finished, he just let me go and said, _Once you find a house, please do inform us where. _And then he left. _

The words still echo in Magnus's mind as he thought it over. Jem got what he wanted, but for the large price of remaining himself. Jem believed there was no way Tessa would ever move in with him, looking like this. He had lost everything. "James . . . I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say," the warlock murmurs, not daring to put an ounce of sarcasm in his words. He truly pitied the boy.

_It's not your fault. I just can't believe I'll never get to see her face again. Kiss her lips. Hold her in my arms._

"Mr. Carstairs, I would not speak like that. I know this is all very tragic, but you should not jump to conclusions. Remember what I said about not underestimating Tessa."

_Yes, I know. _I just-

"Enough of that, James. We should be headed back to the appartement. I'm sure that this news will make Tessa feel much better," Magnus says, standing up to leave. "But I do suggest that you not mention the pain. That will only worsen her guilt.

_Magnus?_

"Yes?"

_Thank you. I . . . I don't know how I could have gotten through this without you. _

"It was my pleasure, Mr. Carstairs." Magnus starts up the dusty old stairs, the Brother following him. "You can repay me by ensuring Tessa's happiness."

_I will try my hardest. _


	14. No Matter What

**I'm glad so many people are enjoying this fanfic, but I'm afraid it's almost at its end! The next chapter or the one after that will probably be the last, but I'll definitely write a lot more fanfic :) Anyways, hope you enjoy :D **

Magnus opens the door to his appartement, Jem trailing behind his soundlessly. To his surprise, neither Tessa nor Alec are in the living room. The warlock shrugs and closes the door, wondering where they could be. "Tessa was here before I left. I'd assume that she stayed here," he thinks aloud, searching the rooms. Alec isn't in their bedroom, but Tessa's door is closed. He knocks on it quietly, figuring that Tessa might be asleep. Alec opens the door a second later, smiling at his boyfriend.

"How'd it go?" he asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"Very well, actually. James explained what happened to me, and then declared his undying love for Tessa once again." Magnus rolls his eyes before kissing Alec on the lips. "I've missed you, though. We haven't had any alone time lately," he says, tilting his head to the side.

"We can make up for that tonight," Alec grins mischievously, although he i blushing terribly.

"That sounds promising," the warlock returns, but then remembers the subject at hand. "Is Tessa asleep?"

"Yeah. I thought she'd feel better if she slept it off a little. But she's been out for a couple hours. You can wake her up if you need to," Alec informs him.

"Thank you, dear, but I'll leave that to James."

Magnus turns, Alec in tow, and heads back towards the living room to meet Jem. "She's in her bedroom, if you'd like to see her."

_Thank you, Magnus, Alec. _James replies before turning quietly towards the door. He opens and closes it softly then walks over towards where Tessa lay in the bed, asleep. Her Victorian gown is fanned out around her, her soft brown hair twisting in all different directions. Her face looks so innocent and young, her skin so pale, her lips so red–but Jem couldn't see any of it. Not anymore. He then slides into the bed and faces the wall so that their backs were against each others. _Tessa, my love? Are you awake?_

"Hmm?" Tessa yawns, her eyelids fluttering.

_Tessa, we need to talk. _

"Jem?" Tessa asks, the tears she had forgotten in her sleep coming back. "Jem, you came back!" she cries, sitting up, all remnants of sleep gone.

_Of course I did. I could never leave you. _Tessa wraps her arms around him, trying to turn him towards her, but he won't move.

"Jem, please face me," she whispers, wanting to look at him, even if he can't see her.

_I'm sorry, Tessa. I-I just can't have you look at me like this. But I want you to know that I love you. And I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But the Brothers got angry, and this was my punishment. They said I could live with you, but I assume you don't want to anymore . . _

"James Carstairs! Don't be an idiot!" she snapped. "Of course I want to live with you. Of course I want to wake up beside every morning and fall asleep next to you every night. How could I not?"

_Because I look like a monster._

"Jem," she whispers, pulling softly at his cloak until he finally faced her. She didn't even flinch this time, but just smiled into his empty eyes. "I love you. No matter how you look, no matter what you do, I always will."

_But, Tessa_

"No buts. I do, Jem. It's not a question. It's a fact," she grins, leaning in to kiss him gently on his stitched lips.

_Oh, wo de ai. _Jem wraps his arms around the girl he love.

And they sat there for a long time, holding each other and whispering vows of love. Neither of them cared about how they looked or the fact that they weren't kissing. They only cared about each other.

* * *

A few hours later, James awakes to an idea. Tessa is still curled up beside him, a grin on her face, but he knows that this is more important than her sleep. Although they have both come to terms with his new appearance, Jem will never be able to accept the fact that he can't see his true love or touch her lips. But he has thought of a solution. _Tess, Tessa, wake up! Please!_

"What is it?" she murmurs, still half asleep.

_I know the solution! I know how to fix this!_

"Jem, I've told you, I don't care! I love you either way," Tessa sighs, rolling over to face him.

_I know you don't care, and I appreciate that more than you can know. But I want to do this for myself. I need to see you, Tessa, to feel you. And I can't do that right now._

Tessa is quiet for a moment, pondering his words. Even she can't deny that she will miss Jem's eyes and lips grazing her body. "Okay. What is your plan?"

_You can shift into the head Brother! He is the only one who can undo transformations. That's why he always leads the initiation ceremonies. You can help me! _He was basically shouting in her head, his voice full of hope and excitement.

"Really? You think that will work?" Tessa asks in awe, praying that they have discovered a way to finally be together.

_Yes. Of course it will work! I've seen him do the transformations a few times. I could walk you through it. It would be so easy, my love. We can have our life back. _

"Wait-would you-would you be a Shadowhunter again?" she asks, horrified by the idea. Becoming a Shadowhunter again would mean two deadly things for James: he would rely on the drug once again, and he would become mortal.

_I don't know . . . I don't think so. I think I'd just look normal, like I did before. We'll just have to find out._

"But, what if you do become a Shadowhunter again? I don't think the Brothers would take you back."

_Tessa, we have to try. We'll find away. We always will. _

"I don't know, Jem. It's too risky. You could get hurt . . " Tessa stood up, pacing around the room, nervously playing with her clockwork necklace. She couldn't lose Jem. Not after all they've been through.

_You have trust me on this one, Tessa. Please._

After what seemed like several minutes of standing still, staring at Jem with teary eyes, Tessa made her decision. "Find me something of his as soon as possible."


	15. Transformation

"MAGNUS!" Tessa calls from her room. Jem has just left for the Silent City, hoping to find something of the Brothers' he can use for the transformation. She flips furiously through the pages of a spell book, anxiety running through her bones.

"What is it?" The warlock calls back tiredly. He's been helping Tessa and Jem for so long that he hasn't had much time to rest, let alone time with Alec. But he cares too much about his friend to forget about her problems and walks into her room. "What happened to James?"

"He left," Tessa says, pursing her lips as she stared at an old page about the Silent Brothers. "He's going to find something I can use to transform into a Brother."

"What?" Magnus gaps. He leans over Tessa's shoulder and reads with her.

"I'm going to undo his changes and make him a Shadowhunter again. I think. I'm not sure. That's what I need your help with." She runs her finger over the fading ink of the pages and then plants it in the center of the page. "There! This is a spell to give immortality, correct?" Tessa asks. She knows she's right. Camille had found out about it a little while ago, before she died, and had told Tessa about it. Although Magnus despised the vampire, Tessa was on neutral terms with her, and they had often talked. Tessa never knew why Camille needed the spell, but she couldn't be more happy that she knew about it.

Magnus studied the words carefully, wondering what spell book could possibly hold this immensely powerful magic. "What book is this, Tessa?"

"The Book of White," she whispers.

"How did you-where did you find it? I'm quite sure I hid it well enough!"

"You did, but it was truly simple to find when you have a gift like mine." She tries not to laugh.

"You transformed into me and used my thoughts to find the Book!" Magnus's cat eyes bulge out of his head. Tessa must have just gotten the Book out, while Magnus was with Alec. He quickly blushes at the idea of Tessa hearing his thoughts at _that time. _"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Don't worry, I didn't dig into your thought too deep," she smiles, facing her friend. "And I was afraid you would be against using it. I wasn't going to ask for your help until I realized I can't exactly cast a spell like this . . " Despite the fact that Tessa possessed her incredible shape-shifting power, she couldn't do much else besides open portals. A spell of this extremity would require Magnus's help.

"Well, of course I'm against using it! That Book is dangerous, Tessa. It's demonic," Magnus scolds, snatching the book away from her.

"Magnus," she pleads. "Please. We need you to help us with the spell. It's the only way!"

"But I thought you were fine with how Jem looks."

"I am, but he insists that he can't live like this. And now that he's thought of this idea . . . it seems genius! We'll be able to live together, finally. That's all I really want. "

Magnus peers down at the open book in his hands. He is unfamiliar with the spell, but knows it will require much effort. Lots of magic. And lots of possibility for failure. It is a terrible risk, but he has to take it for Tessa. "I'll be back in a few hours. I need to pick up some things. Alec's here if you need help." The warlock shut the door, leaving Tessa alone with an unbearable task to prepare for.

* * *

A few hours later, Tessa, Magnus, Jem, and Alec all stand in the living room. A dark robe is crumpled on the table next to the Book of White, along with various materials Tessa does not recognize. Tessa holds Jem's scarred hand, clutching it for her life. This is it.

"Okay. We'll start by undoing the transformation," Tessa says, nodding to herself for encouragement. She had spent a long time looking through stacks of books until she came upon information about the Silent Brothers and their initiation ceremonies. Jem told her as much as he could remember about what they did, but it wasn't much. The lack of information left Tessa feeling nervous and shaky. Even so, she continues. "I'm going to take Jem to my room to do this part, since I'm Changing." Tessa always feels uncomfortable changing into a man, let alone a Brother.

She carefully walks beside Jem, taking the robe, until they reach the safety of her bedroom. She quickly slips out of her gown and into a bathrobe. She holds the robe in her hands and is about to start when she hears Jem's voice in her head. _Tessa_.

"Yes?" Her voice is barely a whisper.

_No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you, Tessa. You are my love and my life._

"Jem," she breathes as the Change starts to take hold, wrapping around her and closing in tight. There is no going back now; she will change Jem back.

Soon enough, she is in the skin of a Silent Brother, and a powerful one. Thoughts rush through her head. A girl with golden hair. A child with his first rune. And blood. Lots of blood. Tessa cringes at the memories, and searches through them. He has to have done this before, right? He had to. _Tessa? Are you there? Did you Change? _Jem's voice pushes through to her.

With ease, she replies through her-or _his_-mind, _Yes, I'm fine. I'm just searching through his memories_. The voice isn't her own, but it doesn't startle Jem. He's gotten used to Tessa's Changes by now.

Tessa digs into the recesses of his mind until she finally pulls out something she can use. A string of words, a whisper in the Brother's mind: _from dust and ashes to knowledge and power. _Tessa tries to repeat the words, but her lips are stitched together. Instead, she places her hands in Jem's and focuses on the words, only reversed. She _is_ trying to undo the change, after all. _From knowledge and power to dust and ashes. __From knowledge and power to dust and ashes. __From knowledge and power to dust and ashes. _She feels Jem's hands in hers start to change, glowing a strange shade of blue. She continues to repeat the chant. _From knowledge and power to dust and ashes. __From knowledge and power to dust and ashes. _

_Tessa!_ Jem tells her as she continues the incantation. _It's working!_ She smiles to herself, her heart pounding as the words echoe through her mind. _From knowledge and power to dust and ashes. To dust and ashes!_

She is almost thrown out of the Brother's body and back into her own. When she looks up, her eyes meet the wide-eyed gaze of the boy she loves. Standing in front of her, in all of his humanity and beauty, is the lovely James Carstairs, a Shadowhunter once again.

* * *

**EEEPSS! It's almost over! The last chapter will be released sometime soon, and hopefully it's an ending that pleases everybody! Let me know what you think, and please leave reviews. **


	16. Forever

"Jem!" Tessa shrieks, her heart stammering, her eyes filling with tears. She rushes into his arms and holds him, tight, while he strokes her hair. "It worked! We did it!"

"Tessa, oh, Tessa," Jem breathes. Tessa cries at the sound of his voice, the one she's missed for years. "Wo de ai," he murmurs, running his hands over her face, her body. His hair is dark, a warm mocha color, with eyes to match. His lips, unstitched, look soft and gentle, and Tessa does everything she can to not lean into them. But Jem can't resist. He leans in and kisses her, quickly, before pulling away. His face is glowing with happiness.

"We need to finish this, first. Then, we can do whatever you want," he says, pushing the door open. Tessa sighs, wanting him now, needing him now, but walks through anyways. Magnus and Alec sit in the living room, huddled over the table. On top of it sits the Book of White, some unrecognizable ingredients, and a glass of a bluish liquid. Tessa doubts that immortality can be achieved through a simple drink, but she doesn't know much about spells. She can only hope Jem's change will be as easy as that.

"James!" Magnus smiles, looking up at his companion with a grin. "So nice of you to join us in your Nephilim state," he grins.

Alec looks at Jem, confused but satisfied, and looks to Tessa. "I'm glad this worked out for you two." Tessa bites her lip to keep from giggling–she's _that _happy.

"Now, Tessa, as much as I hate this idea, I have found an easy solution to your problems," Magnus starts. "The Book of White, surprisingly, has an simple cure to mortality. The reason that nobody ever uses it is due to the fact that the ingredients are hard to come by. However, being the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I have my sources." Alec rolls his eyes. "I do not know, though, that it will work. It seems too easy. My guess is that it's not exactly a sure-fire spell. There's a large chance it won't work."

"What do you mean?" Tessa asks, her giddiness gone.

"I mean that, although the spell is simple, it doesn't have a hundred percent guarantee. It might not work," Magnus sighs. This, he had decided earlier, is why most people can't achieve immortality. With the rareness of ingredients, the single copy of the Book, and the lack of guarantee, it's no wonder most Nephilim aren't immortal.

"But, will anything bad happen? If it doesn't work?" Jem asks, sliding his hand around Tessa's waist.

Magnus looks towards the cup and then back at Jem. "Not that I'm aware of. If the spell works, then you shall feel a change. If not, then you just had an afternoon drink," Magnus attempts, hoping to relax the mood. His humor doesn't work.

"Okay," Jem nods, reaching for the glass. Magnus lets him grab it, then picks up the spell book. "Ready?"

"Whenever you are," the warlock grins. Jem tilts his head back and starts to drink the strange liquid. It burns his lips, his tongue, his throat, but he continues to swallow it. Magnus begins to recite the spell, praying for his friend that it is successful. "Haec dimidia humana, dimidium angelus fiet immortalis ens. Sanguis eius sustinere aeternaliter." The glass is only half empty, and Jem's skin is nearly on fire. Tessa has to force herself to keep hold of his hand. "Haec dimidia humana, dimidium angelus fiet immortalis ens. Sanguis eius sustinere aeternaliter," he repeats as Jem drinks the last sip. "Sanguis eius sustinere aeternaliter!"

A beam of light flashes around Jem, making his skin light up for a second. Then it's gone. Tessa's eyes widen. She knows it must have work. Jem is immortal, and hers forever. "Jem?"

"Yes," he whispers, smiling to himself. The heat on his skin is gone, the burning in his mouth has disappeared. He feels . . . invincible. "I think . . . I think it worked!"

Tessa jumps onto him, filled with joy. Jem kisses her and holds her and feels as if he can never let go. And he won't have to. Magnus has pulled Alec close to him and is grinning against his lips. The Shadowhunter winds his arms around the warlock's neck and kisses him fiercely, excitement racing through his veins.

After celebrating for a while, everybody pulls apart and smiles at one another. Tessa rushes to Magnus and hugs him tightly, "Thank you, Magnus! I can never repay you!"

"It was my pleasure," he nods. "Besides, I've always been fond of James."

Even Alec walks over to hug Tessa, holding her tightly. Although they've only known each other for a short time, the two have grown close. Tessa expects that Alec will be in her future for a long time. Maybe Magnus and him will perform an immortality spell of their own. Tessa only hopes they can remain together. "You have to come visit soon, okay?" he grins. Tessa and Jem will have to leave soon, off to a place of their own. "I can't survive alone with Magnus for that long."

"I will," she agrees. "I promise!" She pulls away and rushes back to Jem. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some stuff to _discuss." _

"Dinner's at six!" Magnus reminds them, his cat eyes sparkling.

Tessa races back towards the bedroom, Jem trailing behind her excitedly, and locks the door. He picks her up and spins her around, beaming. They stare into each other's eyes in awe. How did they ever accomplish all this?

Tessa is still dressed in her bathrobe, while Jem wears his Brother's robe. Tessa's breathing picks up as Jem slides the robe off of her body, revealing her completely. His eyes fill with joy as he looks at her perfect, impeccable body. He cups her face in his hands and presses his lips against hers. Tessa leans in, smiling and crying simultaneously, and eases Jem's robe off. She runs her hands over his warm chest. She feels her way around his body, maneuvering over towards the bed. Jem eases Tessa down first, softly, until she's lying flat against the covers, staring wide-eyed up at him. "Jem," she smiles as he rolls onto of her, making sure not to put his full weight on her. "I've missed you," she croaks. "I mean, I know you've been her the whole time, but . . . but I missed this." He kisses her neck softly, then moves down to her chest. Tessa gasps as his lips touch her body. She hasn't done this in years, and before that only a few times. She cannot help but feel surprised. "I've missed your touch, your voice. Your hands on my skin."

Tessa's hands dance on his neck, his shoulders. "I know," Jem says, sliding his hands down her waist, touching her delicately, carefully. "But now you don't have to miss me. We have time."

Tessa nods, her whole body filled with heat and excitement and hope. She has hope. "We have forever."

* * *

**Since I don't have much experience with immortality spells (unfortunately), that part was kind of stupid. But I hope the rest was okay. Also, I couldn't give this story up yet, so I added an epilogue :D **


	17. Epilogue

**NOTE: There IS an added chapter before this!**

"Tessa!" Jem calls from the bedroom. "What time are they coming over again?"

"Six, Jem!" Tessa laughs over the bowl of soup she's stirring. "I told you already. They'll be here any minute!" Tessa's dressed in a short cocktail dress–yes, she's not wearing a Victorian gown. Her hair is pulled back in her classic bun, ringlets falling across her face. Their quiet, London house glows with candlelight and smells of warm, fresh food. The table is set for eight, while an extra one, set off to the side, is set for four. The clock reads 5:57, and Tessa keeps glancing anxiously at the door.

"Not everybody has a perfect memory, dear," Jem laughs as he walks into the kitchen, pecking Tessa lightly on the lips. "Clary could invent a memory rune. I'm sure that'd be helpful." Tessa slaps him playfully on the shoulder before turning the stove off.

"You can tell her tonight," she smiles, running into the room next door. Although Tessa can't have kids, she and Jem adopted an orphaned Shadowhunter a few years ago. They live constantly with the knowledge that he'll grow older than them soon enough, and eventually die. But they couldn't help themselves. They wanted kids so badly.

"Hey, honey," Tessa grins, standing in the doorway of her son's room. "Our friends are going to be here soon, Will. Can you put your toys away?"

The boy, with curly brown hair and stormy gray eyes looks up from his toy cars. "Allrightttt," he sighs, cleaning up. His mother smiles and waits for him to finish. They walk out of the room together and head into the kitchen, just as the door bell rings.

"Oh!" Tessa gasps, startled by the sound, but rushes to the door anyways. She opens it to see the whole group there, all smiling at her in excitement.

"Tessa!" Clary smiles, walking inside and wrapping her arms around her. Jem quickly comes to the door and greets everybody. Magnus pecks Tessa on the cheeks, while Alec gives her a warm hug. Jace and Simon shake hands with Jem as Isabelle embraces Tessa. Three little kids come barreling through the door and nearly tackle Tessa. She smiles down at them in joy before they attack Jem.

"Okay, okay!" Tessa giggles, leading everybody to the dining room. "Let's go and eat!" The group flows into the room, all talking quickly and catching up. Simon and Isabelle tell Jem about how their six-year-old son, Max, is as nerdy as possible, aside from the fact that he's wicked with the flamethrower. Magnus tells Tessa about his engagement, Alec burning red the whole conversation. Clary and Jace bicker back and forth about the time difference between their twins' births. Clary believes that their daughter, Lucy, was born 3 minutes before their son, Jonathan. Jace, on the other hand, argues that Lucy was born 3 minutes _after_ Jonathan. Although this has no significance, really, the two can't seem to stop arguing, although both are laughing.

At the small table off to the side, Will talks excitedly with Max and Jonathan about how he's learning Chinese. Lucy, being the only girl draws imaginary runes in her notebook, doodling happily. Everybody talks and laughs, eats and smiles. To Tessa and Jem, the chaos of the visit is the best feeling. It reminds them both of dinners back at the Institute, where Jessamine would complain while Charlotte tries to maintain order. Where Henry would fiddle with gadgets and Will would put in a sarcastic remark or two. It was both a sad and happy memory.

There, in a small London house, a group of supernatural families enjoyed their complicated but wonderful lives, all because a group of teenagers walked in on two arguing warlocks one memorable night.

* * *

**Okay, so that was really cliché. But I just had to do it! Thank you to everybody who's read this fanfic from the start and encouraged me to continue it. I'm glad I did! Please check out my other fanfics and feel free to leave requests :D **


End file.
